For the Love of Kilts
by Sephira Vanya Estelwen
Summary: Just a lovely one shot for our awesome good doctor p.s. the only reason the rating is up is due to strong bad words.


"So booooooooooooooorrrrrrrreeeeeeeeed."

I flopped myself down on the couch, bored out me fricking gourd. My dear friend Moony laughed at me. I stuck my tongue out at her.

"Mooooooooony I'm sooooooo bored!" I whined, kicking my feet. She shook her head, typing something out before showing me the screen of her laptop. It had a picture of a shirtless guy. I stared at it.

"Eh, so so."

"So so? He's hot. Look at those abs, that hair, the freaking green eyes!" I gave her a weird look,

"He has caterpillars for eyebrows."

"Does not!"

"Does too!"

"Not!"

"Too! It's eating his face, woman!" She just pouted before getting a wicked grin on her face. I scooted away from her, wondering and slightly fearing for my life.

"You're starting to scare me." I told her. She just giggled as she typed on the laptop before showing me another pic.

I felt my face heat up as I stared at the shirtless man on the screen. The shirtless part wasn't really what got me, it was what the guy was wearing down below.

"You bitch."

He was wearing a freaking kilt.

Moony just laughed as she patted my head while I felt my face burn.

"Aww come on Seph just being a good friend. I know how much you love seeing a man in a kilt~" She let out a squeak as I clamped my hand over her mouth while looking around the room.

"Don't say stuff like that here. The Lord Butthead might hear you." I hissed at her. She just gave me a weird look before licking my hand.

"Gross!" I whined, wiping it on her shirt.

"Hey!"

"What you licked me."

"Want me to tell Tony."

"Please dear God don't."

"Tell me what?"

Moony and I froze before looking behind us. Tony stood there giving us an amused look. He a couple of grease stains on his shirt and one on his cheek, obvious signs that he had been working in the basement before coming up to harrass er talk to us.

"What must you not tell me?" He asked with a smirk as he sauntered over to us.

"Nothing!" I reply a little to quickly. He just gave me a raised eyebrow before looking over to Moony,

"Care to tell me sweetheart?"

I gave her a begging look to not reveal my secret. I would die if Tony finds out.

"I have no idea what you're talking about Tony." She said sweetly.

I let out a relieved sigh as Tony tried to get her to spill. Which he failed at. After two hours of trying and several threats he finally left us alone.

"Oh thank God." I breathed out. Moony laughed at me, giving me a quick hug before she packed her things.

"I know though would it be so bad if he found out?" She asked as she got everything into her bag, slinging it over her shoulder. I looked at her like she was nuts.

"Yeah it would!"

"But maybe he would get Bruce to wear one." I felt my face burn at just the thought of the good doctor in a kilt.

"I hate you, you know that." -_-

"Love you too Sephy!" ^_^

I grumbled to myself as I crawled through the vents.

Why, you ask, am I in the vents?

Well there are a list of reasons why. One, great get away route, got the idea from Clint. Great way to get to places with out anyone knowing. Or my favorite, great place to hide when in trouble, being bothering, when pranking, or when avoiding people or events.

sadly it was the bothering thing has sent me to the vents today.

Some how Tony had found out about me er thing for kilts and been bothering me about it not stop. He even started sending me pictures through my email. I stopped opening them after a very disturbing made it to my inbox.

"Bloody asshat." I growled darkly as I crawled towards a little nich in the vents. It was like a mini room on the vent system. Pretty sure Clint had something to do with its exsistence. I wouldnt 't be surprised if he had one himself some where in the vents.

This nich was unspokenly mine. It had a few books that I like as well as some snacks and drinks. It also had a box full of items that could be used for many things. Usually I used them for pranks. Also it had a big huge fluffy blanket and pillow set. Sadly there was the one night that I ended up sleeping in the nich.

Hmmmmm, maybe I should have a couple sets of cloths up here just in case as well. Ya never know living in the same place as Tony and the others.

So yeah here is lovely me crawling around in the vents to avoid one very irritating billionaire.

I sighed as I thought of ways to strangle Tony. I was bout to get to my nich when I heard someone coming my way. Seeing as there were only two people who would be crawling around in the vents and one of them was currently in the Bahamas, I knew just who it was.

"Hey Clint."

I heard a low chuck as Clint appeared.

"Hiding from Tony?" He asked as I sat down for a moment.

"Yep." I took this moment to finally look at Clint.

He gave me a very cheerful and somewhat creepy smile. It took me a moment why.

He was wearing a purple and black kilt. A bloody kilt.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Tony smirk as he heard a loud shriek followed by a loud bang that echoed through out the vents.

"Phase one down. Alright blondie, let's get this show on the road."

I clenched my fists, slight hunched over as I stalked my way through the halls of the tower.

"I swear I'm going to kill that man." I hissed through clenched teeth as I made my way to the kitchen to grab a mug of tea, hoping it would help sooth me. Or at least give me something painful to throw at Tony when I see him. I really should have just holed up somewhere and never come out again cause when I got to the kitchen,

"..."

Thor waved as he gave me a very wide grin. I just stood there as I stared at him. The bloody blonde was wearing a freaking kilt. A blue and yellow kilt.

"Hello Lady Sephy, would you care for a poptart?" He asked as he held one up. I let out a low sigh as I pinched the bridge of my nose. Knowing Thor, I'm pretty sure Tony tricked the poor guy into doing this.

"No Thor, though that you for the ofter." I told him as I turned around to walk out of the kitchen, waving over my shoulder at him.

"Very well. Oh Lady Sehpy, this midgarian choice of clothing is very comfortable. It is not at all stuffy like pants, though it can be a bit drafty at time."

I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooo going to kill Tony for this.

Tony nearly fell out of his chair laughing. He did not see that coming from the norse god. Oh man, SHE was going to kill him later for this but it'll be so worth it.

"Stark!"

Tony smirked as he turned around.

"Helllloooo there Captain."

I tried to stay calm as I slinked around the tower. I did not want a repeat happening. My eyes darted around as I kept an eye out for anyone as I made my way down to the training room made specially for Steve. Since I don't go down there hardly, I'd figure that be the safest place besides my room, which was on the other side of the tower.

I got to the doors, my hand automatically reaching out for the handle. I paused, a feeling of dread hitting me.

"Should I?" I pondered before shrugging. The worst case would be that Steve was there boxing. I knew that Tony would never be able to get the boy wonder to wear a kilt. So with another shrug I foolishly opened the door and walked into the gym.

"Oh God please kill me now." I moaned as I leaned against the door frame.

Some how there was Steve, working in the gym, wearing a red, white, and blue kilt. I didn't even knew that they came in that color.

"SEPHY!? OH GOD!" I heard him yelp, finally noticing me. I guess he wasn't totally in on the plan.

"I didn't see a thing Steve." I yelled at him before running off. I'm done with this shit.

Tony smirk as he leaned back in the comfy lounged chair. So far his devious plan had worked, he even got the goody toe-shoes Captain to join in. Though he may have not fully explained just what the deal entailed. Not that he really cared. Nope not at all.

"STARK!"

I felt my eyes burn holes in the back of that asshat's head. He just let out a chuckled as he waved at me.

"Heeeey Sephy. Sweetheart. How are ya? Having a fun day today?" He asked sweetly. I let out a dark growl as I grabbed the chair, turning it so that I could face him.

"MY FUCKING EYES!"

I covered my eyes, backing away and nearly falling over.

The freaking dipshit was wearing a gold and red kilt as well, but not just any kilt a mini skirt kilt that belongs are a young teen. I need eye bleach.

"THE FUCK'S WRONG WITH YOU!?" I screeched, fighting the urge to glare at him. MUST NOT LOOKED. Will go blind! He just laughed.

"What this old thing? I pulled it out just for you. I thought you had a thing for kilts?" He asked sweetly.

"IT'S A FUCKING MINI SKIRT, DAMN IT!" I yelled before hightailing it out of there, Tony's laughter following me. Fuck this I'm going to go hide in my room and never come out. Ever.

So running like the wind, I made it to my room. I ran in and slammed the door close, making sure to lock it and the seal it before leaning against the wall. I panted slightly as I tried to calm down and get my breath back.

"I swear to god I'm going to kill whom ever told that asshole about this." I hissed as I stepped away from my door. I sighed as I headed for the bathroom, imagining a painful, gruesome death of the betrayer. I froze when I heard a low chuckled behind me. A very familiar low chuckled.

'Oh dear Lord please don't it be...'

I turned around and nearly fainted. Before me stood a blushing, shirtless Bruce, wearing a green and purple kilt. Now unlike the others, I had a huge crush on the good doctor. Pair that up with my thing for kilts, and you have a mess of goo known as Sephy.

Bruce let out another chuckle, this one a bit nervous soundly as he ran a hand through his soft, curly hair. Damn when did he get abs, NO! BAD SEPHY!

I gulped as I tried not to stare at him. I could feel all the blood rush to my face. I probably looked like a tomato at this point.

"Sephy?"

I gulped as I looked away from him, a hand going to my mouth.

"You alright?" He asked. I quickly nodded my head, still not looking at him. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my GOD!

"You sure, your face is very red?" I nearly jumped out of my skin at how close his voice sounded. I turned my head to see that he was just a few inches away from me.

"AH!" I yelped, leaning back only to fall. I tensed, waiting for my head to hit the wall, when a pair of arms grabbed my waist pulling me to a warm chest.

Oh universe why do you torment me so?!

"You alright?" Bruce asked, concern coloring his voice though there was an undertone of amusement. I closed my eyes as I nodded, trying very hard not to move, or to breathe really.

"You sure, you look like you have a fever?" He teased. If it was possible, my face got even more red. I heard him let out a low chuckled before something smooth and soft touched my forehead. Wondering what it was I opened my eyes only to see Bruce kissing me on the forehead.

Bruce chuckled as he cradled the quirky blonde in his arms. She pretty much fainted after he kissed her on the forehead. He looked down at her, a soft smile gracing his features. He chuckled again before carrying her over to her bed, pulling the covers back before laying her down and covering her again. His smile got wider as he brushed some of her soft hair back,

"Guess Moony was right bout her thing for the kilt after all."


End file.
